A Look Through Holly's Eyes

[Holly Hoffman]

GOD DAMNIT i cant believe i just screwed that challenge up! i really wanna cry cuz i know i couldve done amazing in this especially since its endurance. i really hope im safe at this tribal council. i put my heart in this game and i seemed to have earned the good side of benry and dan. but when i was talking to benry, he was saying that "not gonna lie, if it comes down to a 4-4 vote, i kinda wanna vote you, just so ur safe from the rock draw". i replied "oh thanks ur so sweet" but in reality im like wait someone could deviate or something. so i really rather not be put in that situation where i could go home. to be honest, i might just suggest the idea of voting out jimmy t. to jill and chase. then work out something if we do lose another challenge. right now im just getting desperate. so we'll see if this works.

[Holly Hoffman]

so i talked to jill bout the idea of voting jt out but she actually thought of a better idea that can change the game around if it works. but...its a HUGE RISK. kay so like i said i got close to benry last nite and started talking to him. well maybe i could use his trust. so our plan is to try to blindside dan so we can get the double vote out. i pmed benry saying that i thought of a plan that could help both of us out since we dont want a 4-4 vote. our plan is to try to convince benry and the rest of espada that me and jill were blindsided by jimmy t when they jimmy j got voted out so were seeking revenge. so ill tell him that me and jill want jt out so tht could get rid of the 4-4 vote. but in reality me jill chase and jt will vote dan out and ill use my double vote. hopefully if they trust me enough dan wont use his double vote. so if this works then dan is out. then we can throw the next couple of challenges so we can get rid of benry then kelly/yve. if this doesnt work, the worst tht can happen is a tiebreaker between dan and jt. but the thing is, if it doesnt work, theres a huge target on my back. this is possibly the biggest move ive ever made in an ORG so hopefully it pays off. I'm backed up against a fence. I'm desperate.

[Holly Hoffman]

wait hold up im like pulling my hair out right now. this is the biggest move ive ever pulled so far. so im talking to benry and he seems to be going along with it. this is how our pms went...

Me:

hey benry! for tonights tribal council i think i have an idea that can help both of us out. hear me out?

Benry:

Yeah, what are you thinking?

Me:

okay not gonna lie to u so back in la flor early on i made an alliance with jill, jimmy j, and jimmy t. but at this tribal council jimmy j got voted out 6-3 so we knew jimmy t betrayed us. so me and jill wanna get him bck. can u and espada help out with that? (oh i rhymed ^_^ lol)

Benry:

Yeah, I'd want Jimmy T to go to if that's what he did to ya'll. Make sure Jill is on board, and on my end of things I'll see if people would be down to do that.

Me:

kay ill talk to jill nd hopefully get bck to u before tribal

Benry:

Alright sounds good. I'm sure people are gonna be a bit paranoid, so hopefully we can get another vote or two on our side for that.

Me:

jill is definitely down

Benry:

Alright sounds good. I'm sure people are gonna be a bit paranoid, so hopefully we can get another vote or two on our side for that.

Me:

yea we need 2 more ppl :/. thing is tho idt chase is gonna turn on old la flor :/

Benry:

Alright, well I respect that, he wasn't betrayed by Jimmy T, Jimmy T must have been double-talking, and he was just on the good side of things.

In any case, I'll ask Kelly S., Yve, and Dan how they'd feel about voting him. I'm sure two would be okay with it, and if someone is not, that'll be a red flag for us to think about moving on since I can't see any reason they wouldn't vote him over you two, so that'll just give us someone to vote out at another tribal if we do go. In all likelihood someone will hop on with us SOLIDLY, and that can be our core four for the tribe I'd think. Have you talked to and felt comfortable with any of those three? They're all pretty equal to me.

Me:

i felt comfortable talking to dan and yve. and ill try mentioning the idea to chase. he was going along with the punches so hopefully i can convince chase wut a rat he was.

omg wait...this could work. hold up one minute. *jumps up and down* ITS WORKING! ITS ACTUALLY WORKING!

like i was gonna try to get all of old espada on board. but i realized last nite if i could get benry on board then we got this. it just takes one member to deviate. cuz then even if dan uses his double vote then its still not enough. the only thing im worried about tho is the powers that the people got for this challenge. idt any of old la flor got it so yeah. if its anything major thats what got me worried. hopefully this week can go smoothly.

another thing that can go potentially wrong is if all old espada follows and dan uses his double vote for some odd reason. then itll be a tie. but its a risk. it makes the game interesting. we'll see what happens.

[Holly Hoffman]

Alright, sound great. Kelly S./Dan seemed on board with the plan, and I still am trying to see where Yve's head is at. They all still seemed unsure and like they wanted to check around, but good news is Dan did specifically tell me that he refuses to vote for you, which in the event my tribe is uncomfortable with my interaction with you or something and weren't telling me...Dan clearly also is being genuine in whatever it is he is saying you.

I think this should work out, though I still have no clue what Jimmy T., Yve, or Chase are thinking for this vote. Though that's only 3/8 so that's making me feel kind of okay.

i feel terrible right now. like my gut is killing me cuz i don't normally play like this. benrys such a nice guy and im betraying him like this. and not only him, but the rest of the tribe that was so nice to me. a part of me wishes i can go back and not even think of this whole plan. right now im scared of the consequences. i always tell myself not to put my heart and emotions in the game becuz my conscience tells me not to do the things im doing. im trying to remind myself its just a game and that i don't know these people, but these people are sweet. im dying inside becuz i dont wanna lose benrys friendship. i shouldnt have done this but im in too deep.

wut also has me worried is that kelly s and dan are saying theyre gonna check around. so if i get caught in my lie im screwed. but to be honest if i do get caught and im sent home. ill be okay with it. thats just my karma. my heart is aching right now. i dont wanna be on when the results come on.

[Holly Hoffman]

it worked. and i couldnt be more heartbroken. i was desperate. but dan didnt deserve it. it sux i cant turn back time. i dont even wanna throw these next couple of challenges. but my alliance is forcing it. i feel like feces.

[Holly Hoffman]

holy shit someone mustve done work cuz another old espada went home! and it was 5 v. 3 espada v. la flor!!! da fuq?? i mean i guess since that happened im not gonna throw the challenge. it woulda made me more sick to my stomach. its not in my nature to just purposely lose since i hate losing lol. but yea its great la flor stuck together but its weird. tht means 1 or 2 espada had to switch sides so tht prolly means they made an alliance. im definitely keeping an eye out for that.

maybe its time to do wut benry was talking bout. start working together to build our strength together.

[Holly Hoffman]

ok...these la flor people need to go to bed so i can go all klepto on their asses...

[Holly Hoffman]

who the hell does alina think she is?! tryna call me and jill out like that. idk about jill but i srsly wasnt tryna throw the challenge unlike her ass who did it blatently. whatever. at merge (hopefully i make it that far) im going after her ass. shes on my list. and thats a place u dont wanna be on. i quoted that from somewhere but i cant for the life of me remember where from >.<.

[Holly Hoffman]

YESSSS MADE IT TO JURY!!!!!!!!!!! sorry like i sed before i think that was my main goal when i first started this challenge was to make it to jury!. but yesss IM HERE BABY!! so yeah for this challenge im definitely worried. cuz if an old old la flor wins we have minority and its definitely a setback. if an old old espada wins its fine but its still definitely like a threat. i just hope we can pull this off. i guess ill start off by talking to brenda and jane.

[Justin Bartha]

Congrats Holly!

[Holly Hoffman]

thanks justin!!

[Holly Hoffman]

i think this may be my time to leave. if they were smart they would eliminate me over chase but idk. hopefully since i did at least talk to them that that will give me their good graces. idk. im stuck.

[Holly Hoffman]

i just sold my soul. with shannon winning that definitely means either chase or me can go home. i was desperate i have to do whatever it takes without making it seem like i'm blatently throwing chase under the bus since he would be on jury. so brenda asks me what i'm thinking for the vote. i replied to her saying "it's up to u guys, if u need me to vote for someone ill definitely do it. but tbh, most likely if u jane nd kelly s r together its me or chase going, so i really wanna stay. like my hearts in this game and i really care about it. ill definitely remember if u save me and ill definitely owe u favors when we merge". hopefully she takes it. idk im scared :/ this might be the end of Holly Hoffman.

[Holly Hoffman]

WELL THAT WAS A SHOCKER! in all seriousness i saw that one coming. i hope my girl jill rocks it. i hope benry and shannon make it far. im kinda thankful to be eliminated cuz to be honest, with school and everything, i wasn't able to keep up with it. so yeah. i have no regrets im happy with how i played this game.

and if ur still wondering, I know Jill Behm outside this game. We went to the same high school together lol.

HOLLY HOFFMAN IS OUT BITCHES!! Thanks Bradley, Heather, Zach, Justin and Ed!